It’s taken some time to be born, time to be created. I resisted, I procrastinated. It wasn’t good enough, I wasn’t ready, not until I’ve lost more weight, not until I am perfect. I’ve struggled with my feelings about dieting and, consequently, resisted teaching a weight loss class.
I’m ready now, the time is right. I’ve reconciled my feelings about teaching weight loss, I’ve found a different path. I’ve lost a few pounds, but I’m still not perfect. I am bringing to life the work of my heart: A weight loss course that’s not about diet and exercise, a weight loss course that focuses on self-love and healing our relationship with ourselves.
The journey that I’m on, I’m sharing with you. The journey I’m on is a journey of self-love, of discovering my inner beauty, without losing a pound. This journey is about living NOW as I am, about experiencing joy and love and beauty.
Unlock the Beauty Within: Loving Yourself to Weight Loss combines my training as a Heal Your Life® Workshop Leader and as a Holistic Health Coach. This is the class I wish I had 20 years ago. It is the lessons I’ve learned that have gotten me where I am today, and some I am still working on.
This is my story. This is my “why.”
I’ve been overweight most of my life. As a child, I remember shopping in the “chubby” section. I was chunky, chubby, heavy, large-boned, a “big girl” in a world of petite girls. I was also shy, introverted, highly sensitive (there may be a causal relationship here, but that’s another paper). I was never one of the popular kids, I had only a few friends. Because I was fat.
Deep inside, I believed that people would not like me because I was fat.
It’s an irrational belief that pops up still every once in awhile. That I am not good enough the way I am and will not be good enough until I lose weight.
I was not obviously depressed, my life seemed fairly normal, I was often quite happy. I loved to dance, to sing, I was active in band, I had my friends, I loved to read, had a great family. But, underneath it all, there was a fear that people would not like me because I was fat. Even when, in my earlier teens, I wasn’t really all that fat.
I started Weight Watchers during summer breaks when I was in college. For years, I was in and out of Weight Watchers, losing weight and gaining it back. I did Atkins, South Beach, I ran, worked out with a trainer, counted calories. I was once advised that, if I wanted to date, I would have to lose weight. Thus began my relationship with Ben & Jerry. And then back to weight watchers.
Until finally I had enough. I was not going to count another calorie, keep track of points or weigh my food ever again.
After getting my Health Coach certification, I was led to the Heal Your Life® workshops, based on the work of Louise Hay and her bestselling book, “You Can Heal Your Life.” During my first Heal Your Life® workshop and leader training, my healing began. I began my journey of self-love.
Somewhere on that journey of self-love I decided that I love myself enough to stop torturing myself with restrictive dieting. I decided that I would stay the weight I was at that time until I could lose weight without feeling deprived, hungry, or guilty. I decided that I was going to heal my life. I was going to work on becoming the best ME I could be and let the weight take care of itself.
Slowly, life started getting better and better. I started dancing again. Dancing sparked my creativity and I started writing and ideas started forming for where I wanted to go with my life. I started getting excited about life again. All without losing a pound.
The more I loved me and loved my life, the more my inner beauty started to shine. When I’m feeling joyful, talking about something meaningful, dancing, excited about anything, I glow. That glow is my inner beauty, my true self, my soul, shining through.
Without losing a pound, people started telling me I was beautiful. When IAnd I started believing it.
That was the inspiration for “Unlock the Beauty Within.”
Every one of us has that inner beauty. It has nothing to do with the shape of our body, the features of our face. It’s all about letting who you really are shine. It’s about being in love with life, being in joy. We ALL have it. Truly. Look at anybody talking about their passion – aren’t they beautiful?
My mission, my passion, is to help other women unlock their inner beauty and let their light shine. I want to take the shame and deprivation out of weight loss and replace it with love and healing.
Where am I now? I’m still on the journey – after all, I am still alive. I’m making healthier choices because I love myself. I started working out because I love myself. My body has been good to me and it’s time I start being good to her. Despite a busy schedule and a lot of things I “should” do, I take at least one night a week off for a dance class. My clothes are getting looser and I have more energy. I love to dress up and put on make-up and I love my high heels. I kiss my reflection in the mirror, I tell myself “I love you,” and I feel beautiful when I walk out the door.
I’m teaching a class on Saturday on loving yourself to weight loss. Care to join me?